Descendant

The air was pleasant, relatively chilled and a unique kind of cup I was carrying, sipping slowly...hoping it to last a little longer. A strong light was flashing in the tree; signifying the presence of construction activity in the vicinity. Destination was still little far from direct sight.
Walking in the middle of night (of course with my cup) was quite a regular happening in my life in the recent time. I have always more liking for the nights because they carry a kind of stillness which a day can never carry.

I heard many a times: people talk with stars to run away from the loneliness of life. And for that matter everyone is lonely at their inner soul. Some talk with the nature through an unknown language and filled that gap in their lives which encourage them to pursue living. I was no different. Every time, it charges me for the next challenge of my life as it was a guide in difficult times. Today was just a casual meeting with it and it responded well. It asked me to go hard at life as its the only thing I can do. I took that cue and descended over the stairs.
Finally, I reached my room, that was at the top floor of the farthest hostel block from any corner/point of the institute. And my cup of tea got empty as it didn't last longer enough. Thats how the life is at IIM I......

I simply don't know....

You complained today

And blamed me 

For the course of life since then....

I was near about forgetting you

Took enough pain

Gathered my self somehow

After all my life had witnessed

A lot of changes since then....

You are saying today

I should have confessed

That I loved you,

I know I should have

But I simply didn't know,

You call me naive or stupid or whatever

I don't mind because

I still love you

And yes its since then....

They banked a lot upon me

I couldn't divert myself

From the path that life dictated to me,

I am cursed of being over-focused

It didn't allow me to feel love

But still I loved you since then....

Yes I was at guilty

Yes I could have molded things in different shapes

Yes I could have done hundred things right

But more than all that, I was at guilty of not sharing all this

With you my love, with you

I have learned living by this guilt

I hope you too learned living

But I won't be able to stop loving you

And I have no idea till when....

A Near-Perfect Sunday at IIM I

At IIM Indore, we generally sleep only after welcoming the next day i.e. post 12 in the night. The day Oct 16, 2011 started just like this which happened to be a memorable Sunday.
10:00 PM - 01:00 AM Just like a usual evening, I spent my evening playing badminton. But that day, I was playing baddy (Badminton is popularly known as Baddy at IIM I) after having dinner which is not recommended and we all know its dire consequences, as I remembered from the subject Physical Education studied far back in class VIII probably. IIM I has some really well maintained badminton courts and guys really make use of the globe subjects in formulating strategies to get their turn to play.
01:00 AM - 03:00 AM The thing that I liked the most being at IIM-I is u never know when u ll need to jump from one activity to another and keep doing that on consistent basis. The time was to make assignment for MAC-I and seriously Jubin and I were keep wondering where to start from. After struggling with the data online, we formulated a kind of plan to do the assignment which is still a plan as I am writing this post. Whatever the case may be, I would call that period dedicated to study, as I can't think of anything else for that matter.
03:00 AM - 04:00 AM This was the time dedicated purely towards sleep building exercise. I laid on my bed holding the hand out of Strategy Management trying to study the long article on something called as Scenario Analysis. One thing I loved about reading such globe artcles is u never know when ur eyes get heavy.
04:00 AM - 12:00 PM Deep sleep.......wow I loved that part. After so many days, I happened to get a sleep of 8 precious hrs. (Although I was supposed to be in the Auditorium by 10:00 AM as I spread the event like fire among PGP participants)
02:00 PM - 06:00 PM Something keeps on happening on campus every then and now but this was special. Mini Festival of Indian Panorama was being hosted by IIM I and a number of award winning movies were being screened. I also went to witness the event and only after 15 min of my entry (which included pulling legs of friends n all as its our usual time pass), I got a chance to be a part of the crowd welcoming Farooq Sheikh and some other eminent personalities of film circle. He is really a great person apart from being an awesome actor. Then, I watched the movie Lahore as it was being screened as part of the festival. A nice movie, I must say. After the movie, I listened to some wise words from Mr. Sheikh on prevailing film environment and some other aspects of life.
06:00 PM - 07:30 PM There was another surprise outside....it was raining almost after 20 days of dryness in the sky....Beautiful sight around....If one wants to visit the campus, rainy season is the time for that. Running towards the mess in the rain reminded me the childhood days. After having tea and pakoras at mess, I tried my hand at Table Tennis for the first time at the institute. 
07:30 PM - 09:30 PM Study time........really studied something
10:00 PM - 12:30 PM Played baddy again after my friend arranged for the rackets. 
12:30 PM - 01:30 PM As part of daily routine, exercised the delicious food of night mess. This is the best part of daily routine. The day night mess is closed due to some peat control n all, it creates a void in the life of that day...tats the degree of importance of the night mess at IIM I.
01:30 PM - 02:15 PM Again tried to study Strategy Management as a quiz is being expected in today's class....But there is a limit to everything so limit crossed over in 45 min....:)
02:15 PM - The time I post I started writing about this near-perfect Sunday.... 


P.S. The purpose of the post is just to capture this Sunday's activities that was near-perfect for many....

Where's the answer????

It was never easy to forget it. I thought otherwise and kept running away from the same. I am trying to do it for last several years now. As an old adage goes "Forgive but don't forget". I have forgiven myself but could never forget actually. From time to time, one or the other event reminded me of the same thing. I always tried to avoid such events but couldn't sustain on it for long. Periodically, I happen to come across such situations that take me deep into the shelves of .........???? What should I call it??? sadness seems the right word for the day.... a past that I never want to have access....... past that I want to forget......... past that I never want to cherish anymore.
Another adage reverberates in my head "You can never run away from your past". I probably start believing it to the extremity. People have pasts and they seemed to get away with them by taking help from their present but I doubt its validity. Somewhere, some things always stick and keep irritating you for your whole life. However, it is not necessary the incidents are to be bad. Most of the times, people want to forget about the most lovable incidents or time periods due to their painful repercussions.
Life was never so fast. I have been in similar situations earlier too. Life at IIM really tests you. It is not about the hard work thats expected from you, rather its about the kind of environment you have to immerse in. A complete drench of your emotions is expected but I don't want to generalize it. At every next step, you are being directed to be practical and practicality here means materialistic. Anyhow, practical world is materialistic or isn't it?? Some may differ or most of you may differ...It hardly matters actually. What looks right from your eyes is ought to be perfect for you.
The fact is its leading you nowhere near to your destination. I bet most of us will enter the world market of managers and still be looking for something different...something better......something new. But where this NEW lies?? Where should I search for it?? The answer is nowhere but inside you. Its only you who can change your own life in split of a second. No HUL, no BCG can do that.
The need is to ask questions to yourself, rather than to Professors just to mark CP (Class Participation).
The answer lies within you........

Expectations

Life has many shades. I thought I have figured out each and everyone. Once again life has outclassed me in every possible term. Expectations:- a very daisy word. It can lead you to the top of the world and it has an equal potential to dig you deep in an abyss. Is it really recommended to have expectations from someone, rather I should say from life.
I don't know what to say. Sometimes these expectations have ditched me but I don't know from where I recollect the courage to again expect, and that too expect heavier. The situation is not much different from that of a tree.
A tree stands tall on the ground with his long feet deep in the soil and expects a weather to suit his meditated pose. But time and again his expectations shatter and shatter in pieces when he sees his limbs scrambling on the ground. A storm comes from no where; pulls his limbs from the body and try to throw them at the farthest possible place. The worst possible time for the tree seems to be never ending kind of.
As people say life never stops, life of tree is no different. He tries to reassemble himself out of the unfortunate event. He thinks of having no expectations from now onwards but just at that point of time, sun shines parting away the dark clouds. His eyes lighten up and he's compelled to expect again the good life for himself and his limbs.
Do you think it would last for a long time?
I don't think so but in my own case I tend to forget this hard truth.
I am aware of the fact but not ready to accept it. May be someday I would realize and stop expecting & anticipating.